📖: …And the Journey Begins
Written by: Lauren Graves
Last Saturday I celebrated my 21st birthday. After months of sitting on the idea, and weeks of Face Timing with my best friend and party planning, I was able to get all my friends together to celebrate finally becoming a legal adult. I knew I wanted to throw a party because I never really got to have them as a kid. Growing up with just my mom, she always made sure to do the most she could do to celebrate me every year. Whether it was birthday dinners, family surprises, or tons of Bratz and Barbie dolls, I was always showered with love when the middle of May came around. Still, the one thing that stayed foreign to me was having a party. When the time finally came, and my 21st happened to land on a Saturday, I jumped at the chance.
Opening birthday gifts from my best friend.
Having everyone together in my tiny little house in the city, with nothing but laughter and positive energy, gave me a level of happiness that I very rarely feel. My favorite moments are always the ones where I am surrounded by people I love. To witness the joy coming from everyone, and knowing I was able to execute it, made it one of the most special occasions of my life. It was about halfway through the night, when my drunkenness put a pair of rose-colored glasses over every encounter, that I began to see my over-enthusiasm about the evening for what it really was; self-care.
Making jokes in the band room.
Of course, I don’t mean that in any physical sense but in more of a mental one. In a bizarre, off-beat way, I was healing my inner child that never got to experience things like this. Although yes, I was exhausted the next day, I had a newfound peace that glowed from the night before.
I’ve always been someone who thinks a lot about my mental health. Since I was in middle school, I’ve struggled with the ups and downs of my life and I’ve always promised myself to one day take the time to seriously heal.
Before Covid started last year, I was already drafting up ideas for how to use my summer to learn more about myself and grow as an individual. When the whole world shut down, all of that came to a halt and it became easy to put everything I had planned on the back burner.
Over a year later, standing in my kitchen on the verge of tears while everyone sang happy birthday, I became aware of the best way to start my journey. To hold myself accountable for what I say that I’m going to do, I need to document myself doing it.
Healing is in no way a linear subject, and I know that this trek will present me with challenges that I won’t want to face. Having a space where I can go and collect all of my thoughts will not only help me organize and track my progress, it will be something I can always look back on when my path feels like it’s getting too tough.
With all that being said, I’m more than excited for this new chapter in my life and I can’t wait to see the shift I’ll be able to make in just a few short months. I hope that this journey is something that inspires people to do the same thing. Whether that be right now or in 5 months or 9 months after that, I just want everyone to get to a place where they feel truly at peace.
